Friday September 29th, 2023 - 02:52:08 AM

Blog Humour
Various amusing social comments spotted on other sites as credited

This is a new section featuring comments posted from time to time on and other blog sites that struck our funny bone. Links are provided to the original content, and all copyright belongs to the respective owners. Sometimes you need to check out the linked news article to get the joke.

Posted at Habitable planet find doubted by B.C. scientist
11:25 AM ET
doc.atomic wrote:Posted 2011/01/16
at 9:13 AM ET

The 'illustration' accompanying this article has to be one of the worst such artist's 'concepts' I've ever seen. The depiction of the red dwarf star Gliese 581 is completely unrealistic, and the illustration of the supposed accompanying 'planet' is drawn as if that planet is being illuminated by white light! How could that possibly be? The so-called 'artist' is therefore either mistaken, ignorant, or simply stupid.


The white light is from the camera flash silly.

Posted at Scammer offers to rent woman her own house
2:06 PM ET
I like that business model...very similar to the deal I have with the Canadian government.

Posted at Scammer offers to rent woman her own house
12:33 PM ET
A house for only $1000/month, fully furnished, and utilities included? she should have taken it, even though it was her house. lol

Posted at Scammer offers to rent woman her own house
12:20 PM ET
This is to bad that it happened to such a nice lady. These scam artists will target anyone!
Don't be completely suspicious of all correspondence out of Africa though. Currently I am assisting a young exiled Prince of Nigeria to get a large amount of funds released from a bank there in Nigeria. We talk almost every day, what a sad story this young man is going through, especially around Christmas.

Posted at Scammer offers to rent woman her own house
11:49 AM ET
Don't ever rent from yourself - the landlord will never fix the leaky faucet!

Posted at Fearless woman's brain reveals key to phobias
1:52 PM ET
I'd like to hire this woman to clean out my fridge.

Posted at Fearless woman's brain reveals key to phobias
1:44 PM ET
They should try telling her how much it'll cost to send her 3 kids to college.

Posted at N.L. standoff suspect slipped away from home
Matty Appleyard
11:02 PM ET
Come out with your hands in the air. We have the place surrounded. Sort of.

Posted at N.L. standoff suspect slipped away from home
10:30 PM ET
He ordered a pizza. Then switched clothes with the pizza delivery guy.
Works every time.

Posted at N.L. standoff suspect slipped away from home
Eric von Zipper
9:54 PM ET
Hey guys....turn the fire hose off, wake up the SWAT team..Leo's at the bar.

Posted at Flat-headed babies may face problems
1:44 PM ET
This is precisely why my kids sleep hanging by their feet from the ceiling.

Posted at Star count triples to 300 sextillion
icy hot
5:18 AM ET
Right then.....heading outside now to reconfirm.

One, two, three, four......

Posted at Court mulls putting prostitution ruling on hold
1:52 PM ET
I would have to admit that I never paid for it. Then again I am married, I overpaid for it.

Posted at Court mulls putting prostitution ruling on hold
Eris the Dwarf
1:28 PM ET
Good thing there are no laws against prostituting taxpayers, keeping a common party body house, and living of the avails of citizens.

Posted at Court mulls putting prostitution ruling on hold
King David
1:24 PM ET
It may be to late already.
Apparently, they are giving free gropes at the airport!

Posted at Body scan refusal creates online uproar
10:30 AM ET
He should charge them for a baggage handling fee.

Posted at Wandering mind not an escape: study
Mr. Lo Key
4:33 PM ET
Most people should not let their mind wander - it's too small to be left on its own!

Posted at Biggest testicles record set by bushcricket
2:36 PM ET
alex61 wrote: I'd rather have more in the way of, meat than potatoes.


In the end isn't the story about the gravy?

Posted at Biggest testicles record set by bushcricket
2:19 PM ET
andrew30 wrote:Posted 2010/11/10
at 10:06 AM ETBird beak deformities show big rise: study
Was that the big rise in peckers study

Posted at Arctic terror threats real: security agencies
1:53 PM ET
Better make stronger igloos.

Posted at Arctic terror threats real: security agencies
Pete from Scarborough
1:46 PM ET
For some reason, this reminds me of a quote from one of my favourite fictional terrorists, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, who said:

"The satellite is at present over... Kansas. Well, if we destroy Kansas the world may not hear about it for years."

Posted at Arctic terror threats real: security agencies
1:45 PM ET
I wonder if anyone would notice an ice-breaker steaming out of south-east Asia?

Posted at Arctic terror threats real: security agencies
Drowsy Fantasy
1:42 PM ET
I'm sorry, you lost me at "chilling prospect" in the very first line.

Posted at Biggest testicles record set by bushcricket
12:36 PM ET
Is the one with the brass set the leader of the pack?

Posted at Biggest testicles record set by bushcricket
12:34 PM ET
SynthOno wrote:Posted 2010/11/10
at 10:13 AM ET

ArthurPaliden: Well, if man were to have that power their lives would be cut short by woman, who are traditionally less than happy when one has sex with multiple partners, let alone in short order. That would then be limiting their potential for breeding and making it unnecessary to have giant balls, which would be a burden to carry around anyway.

Evolution strikes again!


Your wife is standing right there isn't she.

Posted at Biggest testicles record set by bushcricket
Robert J
11:02 AM ET
I guess that explains why they're always attacking cars and farm machinery.

Posted at Dropped calls plague 3G cellphone network
3:38 PM ET
Someone should invent some sort of booth type object, and maybe put a phone in it. They could charge up to 0.35 cents for the service.

Posted at Risky behavior likely in hyper-texting teens
12:02 PM ET
shickdayfaye wrote:
well at least poor ol' satan isn't taking the heat on this one.

I don't know about that, my cell phone provider is Rogers...

Posted at Risky behavior likely in hyper-texting teens
10:22 AM ET
I forget what the old excuse was.

Posted at Invisibility cloaks closer to reality: study
vic spurs man
4:24 PM ET
I'll have to not see it to believe it.

Posted at Invisibility cloaks closer to reality: study
2:22 PM ET
You people've been fooled, don't put it on.

Posted at Front-yard Virgin Mary owner bans public
1:13 PM ET
My neighbour has gnomes in his yard. Every once in a while the elfin people set up camp on his front walk in efforts to free "the frozen five." Children gather and sing songs of support (I personally blame Frodo for this) and the National Enquirer has sent reporters on several occasions. I can deal with the increased traffic and I respect that its his private property but the reality is that I just don't like my neighbour and I thought that if I brought this up here, maybe someone will come and remove the gnomes.

People are strange.

Posted at Craiglist erotic ads must go: Canada
10:12 AM ET
On 2010/11/04 at 9:43 AM ET, meancree wrote:
> Sucks to always get the "sold it" reply or no reply at all.

If you're using the Adult section and the reply you get is "sold it", something's wrong.


Posted at Warning labels on cellphones sought
1:42 PM ET
Can we develop warning stickers to put on politicians? I'm kind of partial to that idea instead.

Posted at Republicans take U.S. House
7:15 PM ET
Running for public office has become so expensive no honest person can afford to.
Marge Simpson

Posted at New BC Place roof can't close in rain
1:19 PM ET
That's OK... it doesn't rain in Vancouver ever anyway.

Posted at Tomato cleanup after accident shuts highway
8:59 AM ET
Several years ago a truck carrying french fries from Carbury Man. to Minnesota jackknifed, shutting down the Interstate outside Minneapolis. The St. Paul Pioneer-Press ran a picture of the accident under the headline "French Fries Clog Artery".

Posted at Strong winds blast Prairies to Quebec
12:52 PM ET
Love the title: "Strong Winds blast Prairies to Quebec"

May I suggest the subtitle: "Farmer wakes up confused in downtown Montreal"

Posted at Strong winds blast Prairies to Quebec
11:42 AM ET
I like the story title "strong winds blast prairies to Quebec"....allright went to bed last night in SK and woke up in QUE...that's the way to travel...good morning french girls...

Posted at U.S. military gay policy kept by court
Arctic Dude
1:38 PM ET
dwaynedeath wrote: As a hetrosexual male, I am uncomfortable with a gay man showering beside I would a female doing the same.

As a heterosexual male I'm always looking for a female to shower with.

I kind of think that anyone who is afraid of showering next to a gay man is perhaps not brave enough to fight in the armed forces.

Posted at Ont. hospitals hiring lobbyists: NDP
1:11 PM ET
Can the Canadian public sector get any more bizarre. Now the taxpayer is paying to lobby itself?

Posted at Laptops can toast skin, researchers warn
1:07 PM ET
How about heated leather seats in our cars and SUVs? Toasted Buns?

Posted at Laptops can toast skin, researchers warn
10:53 AM ET
Solution, don't use laptops naked.

Posted at Laptops can toast skin, researchers warn
10:39 AM ET
Researchers also say don't stick a pencil up your nose.

Posted at Brain's sense of direction located
Eastside Mary
1:52 PM ET
Is it in the same area of the brain that prevents men from asking for directions when they are lost?

Posted at Brain's sense of direction located
11:03 AM ET
Don't tell my wife...this will only reinforce her conviction that my not asking for directions is because I'm a stubborn ass.

Posted at Brain's sense of direction located
10:57 AM ET
My sense of direction is located about 3' in front of me, stuck to my windsheild with a suction cup, and talking to me in a tinny english accent.

In... 400 Meters... Turn Left.

**Although, I've been hearing a lot of "recalculating!" lately... Could this mean my Garmin has alzheimers?

Posted at Kootenay mayor's family face grow-op charges
12:43 PM ET
No bears?

Posted at Kootenay mayor's family face grow-op charges
11:02 AM ET
Wonder if she ever brought brownies to a council meeting.

Posted at Prozac inhibits sex drive in fish: study
4:59 PM ET
fish should not take prozac

Posted at Prozac inhibits sex drive in fish: study
Zionist Shill aka Aromatic Bovine on the Alpine
3:52 PM ET
PM Fake Lake,

Smoking marijuana might work for you, but every time my goldfish tries to light up, the match goes out.

Posted at Prozac inhibits sex drive in fish: study
Dark Matters
3:16 PM ET
They also found ugly fish did the same thing.

Posted at Canada's inflation rate dips
Hugh Betcha
8:03 AM ET
There's too much month left at the end of the money.

Posted at B.C. HST vote a boon to Ontario: McGuinty
1:45 PM ET
Dalton, I wish you'd stop being so good to us.....

Posted at Ontario may lower off-peak electricity prices
rabid beaver
1:40 PM ET
in other words, the price of peak power is about to rise.

Posted at Ontario may lower off-peak electricity prices
12:14 PM ET
I’ve been trying to find affordable alternatives these days. Well, mission successful!

Mr. Noodle solves all my problems. If I only spend 30 cents a day on food, I can almost afford to pay the taxman and landlord. (Of course, that’s only if I prepare the noodles during off-peak hours.)

Posted at New computer virus a throwback
3:07 PM ET
powderflask wrote:
- this virus is a Win32 executable, won't run on a Mac

This is a correct statement because there are a lot of things that won't run on a Mac.

Posted at Cannabis electric car to be made in Canada
12:59 PM ET
"I could just imagine how many ppl would let you pass them in this car, just so they could be behind the exhast pipe!"

Yes. From the battery exhaust. On the electric car.

Posted at Cannabis electric car to be made in Canada
12:50 PM ET
If they make a larger passenger vehicle they could call it the CannaBus.

Posted at Cannabis electric car to be made in Canada
12:35 PM ET
The only time you'd want to roll your car.

Posted at Man-in-hole case puzzles Sask. police
3:27 PM ET
So close.. after digging all that way from China, to get stuck at the end..

Posted at Bears guarded B.C. grow-op: RCMP
Delta Dude
8:53 PM ET
The cops clued in when they found out one of the bears was called Smokey.

Posted at Drunk, naked man pulled from Thames River
1:07 PM ET
I know the Thames River. My initial reaction was that the man was probably sober and clothed when he fell in.

Posted at Pig on highway squeaks by police
12:59 PM ET
:"Ontario Provincial Police were on the prowl for a pig seen running on Highway 401 near St. Thomas around breakfast time Monday."


Never underestimate the importance of fresh bacon for breakfast.

Posted at Pig on highway squeaks by police
12:44 PM ET
"In June, drivers on Highway 401 near Dutton spotted a pig wearing a scarf walking along the highway, but police couldn't find it."

Wearing a scarf in June?.. that's crazy.

Posted at Pig on highway squeaks by police
11:44 AM ET
1- If the pig wasn't speeding leave it be. It was probably just bringing home the bacon.

2- on the scrarfed pig, bad fashion is not usually a crime.

3- how many police showed up at the Tim Hortons in response to the piglet incident?

Posted at Asteroid could hit Earth in 172 years
Jack Canada
12:20 PM ET
So Christmas is back on for 2012....?

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
6:14 PM ET
I hope the Vancouver entrepreneurs appreciate all the free publicity.
Having a minister on the payroll is normally expensive.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
4:04 PM ET
52-13@95 wrote:

"How about a sticker depicting a suitcase loaded with staplers?"

No, no... THAT one could get you killed.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
3:33 PM ET
Where can I buy a sticker of John Baird bound and gagged? Especially gagged.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
Hugh Betcha
3:24 PM ET
This is hilarious.

Too bad they don't make a sticker large enough
to cover Baird's mouth.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
3:02 PM ET
"Do they make stickers with great big bottles of shampoo for carry-on luggage?" -- FormerSaskieBoy


Oh no -- he's got Contact Lens Solution!! Everybody down!

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
2:54 PM ET
Somehow I think the guys who do our airport security are a little smarter than Mr Baird. I wonder what "full force of the law" applies here? Certainly not all that messy freedom of speech stuff.

Of course it could be worse... imagine a sticker that says "Caution, this bag belongs to a Conservative Party Cabinet Minister - handle with care or the owner will throw a tantrum".

Now that would constitute making a credible and serious threat to airport staff.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
2:50 PM ET
So, just to be clear:

Threat of jail for census-refusal = bad

Threat of jail for poor taste in suitcase sticker = good

Glad to see our priorities are in order . . .

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
2:49 PM ET
A completely empty suitcase would be pretty funny too, as if it had really ripped open in transit and everything had fallen out. Or lots of rolled up old newpapers, as though you are just pretending to own things.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
2:43 PM ET
Tubby Baird is just too upset that they don't sell cheesburger stickers.

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
2:21 PM ET
Do they make stickers with great big bottles of shampoo for carry-on luggage?

Posted at Suitcase stickers draw ire of Baird's office
Get Smart
2:07 PM ET
John Baird lousy hair piece exposed with his dirty underwear would be a good sticker for the company to make.

Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
7:00 PM ET
This reminds me of high school: rolling fake joints using oregano to see if it got unsuspecting hippies high. It didn't.

Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
4:22 PM ET
I do remember listening to Dark Side of the Moon in the headphones and feeling pretty high.

Of course, that may have had more to do with an enormous plug of hash.

Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
4:00 PM ET
"It is the traffic to these websites that certainly can lead to places where they can get drugs and get high."

I read an article on CBC about virtual drugs. I hadn't heard of them so I checked them out. Don't do it kids! I tried it once and now I'm hooked for life. It was a downward spiral from there. My life is ruined. CBC IS A GATEWAY DRUG. Protect your children. :P

Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
4:00 PM ET
St. Crispy wrote:Posted 2010/07/26
at 3:36 PM ET - People who do drugs lack imagination. There are much better things to do in life.

read books
listen to music
admire art
and watch movies

that are created by people who did drugs.


Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
2:06 PM ET
One time at band camp I played these two tones...

Posted at I-dosing hits mind, not body: researchers
12:55 PM ET
Oh well, at least you can't play them backwards to get the hidden and revolutionary themes, like we could.


Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
8:50 PM ET
They should be cutting these astroids in a secure facility with level 5 security not at the ROM, what happens if they cut one open and an alien that uses a host to lay eggs and has concentrated acid for blood jumps out and gets away into the city of Toronto? Its already happened on LB-426.

Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
7:25 PM ET
night train wrote: "They have gone and " ticked off" the rock gods. Now we are all doomed."


No where in that article does it mention anything about Led Zeppelin!

Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
6:03 PM ET
Four and a half billion years old? Phhtt. That's nothing. I've got cheese in my fridge older than that. And it's grey with interconnected green bits inside, too. I'm selling it cheap if anyone's interested.

Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
4:20 PM ET
Can I order some of that for my kitchen countertop?

Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
1:21 PM ET
"Rare meteorite sliced reveal interconnected, translucent greenish spots of a silicate mineral called olivine mottled through a pale grey iron-nickel alloy."

I was expecting caramel.

Posted at Rare meteorite sliced open
1:08 PM ET
Tait said the museum has a policy of not disclosing how much it pays to acquire artifacts, but acknowledged the price tag was "more than I make in a year."

So what I'm getting from this is that I should be a meteor hunter.

Posted at Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston engaged
12:15 PM ET
This is what divorce looks like ahead of time...

Posted at Gulf spill could be contained in days: official
red lake rob
9:33 PM ET
Just put a wedding ring on it, it will stop putting out right away.

Posted at New Ontario 'eco fees' not a tax: minister
11:44 AM ET
Hey you dirty-dog government, you are the dirtiest, dirtbag, dogs that have ever been in power to date. Another fine example of the double-edged sword of environmentalisim gone wrong. Does anyone realize that every dollar we spend must come from the destruction of the environment somehow somewhere along the line?
[...MCS edit...]
So this is the EST Tax? What about the FST? They missed F ? Perhaps it is because most people know what begins with F.

[Editor - the GST replaced the FST and merged with the PST to form the HST. All these escalating relabelled taxes remind us that the F is not far from most of this government's policies.]

Posted at New Ontario 'eco fees' not a tax: minister
11:12 AM ET
Fluorescent bulbs? Really? So, the Feds ecoENERGY Retrofit was giving rebates on these bulbs because of energy efficiency and Ontario is taxing them because of the environmental dangers of mercury. Crikey. My head is spinning.

Posted at Cyber Command's secret code causes stir
7:57 AM ET
The command was created to frustrate everyone from run-of-the-mill hackers to foreign governments looking to steal sensitive information or crash critical, life-sustaining computer systems.


Their first task is to get rid of all govenment computers running Microsoft operating systems.

Posted at Cyber Command's secret code causes stir
2:56 AM ET
Us debt amount????

Posted at Cyber Command's secret code causes stir
12:36 AM ET

Posted at No more G20 summits in Toronto: McGuinty
2:55 AM ET
No more McGuinty: Toronto

Posted at No more G20 summits in Toronto: McGuinty
9:16 PM ET

No more G20 summits in Toronto: McGuinty


He sounds like a friend who says they will never drink again when they wake up with a wicked hangover the morning after the party.

Posted at Trucker pulls own tooth, draws driving charge
12:56 PM ET
I guess he should have used the hands free bluetooth.

Posted at Trucker pulls own tooth, draws driving charge
11:13 AM ET
Good thing he wasn't driving through New Brunswick... He'd have bitten his finger off trying to tie the knot.

: |

Posted at Trucker pulls own tooth, draws driving charge
10:53 AM ET
Well, good thing he didn't need a vasectomy, I suppose...

Posted at Quebec funnels were tornadoes
3:53 PM ET
klink1 wrote:
I was out on the deck and my beer blew over.
That'll teach you to drink lite beer. During a tornado.

Posted at Quebec funnels were tornadoes
Fung Chang
3:07 PM ET
klink1 wrote:Posted 2010/06/29
at 1:26 PM ETI was out on the deck and my beer blew over.


This is very bad. Had it happened in Toronto there would be calls for compensation

Posted at Quebec funnels were tornadoes
1:26 PM ET
I was out on the deck and my beer blew over.

Posted at B.C. hackers plead guilty to email fraud
11:11 AM ET
Well at least these two were caught in Canada and can be tried.
How many times have I sent money to the deposed King of Nairobi and then slapped myself in the face about it?

Posted at New Monopoly board features Canadian cities
1:03 PM ET
shadowstalker wrote: "As one who did 'vote' for my choice of cities in Canada is became blantantly obvious that the voting system was unfair as it was based on 'numbers' of votes for any particular city and not a percentage of that cities population - therefore the 'larger' centres or the most known were going to get the most votes."

Yes, the huge metropolis of Chatham-Kent Ontario (pop. 108,000), Kawartha Lakes, On (pop. 74,000) and Beucevill QC (pop. 6,200) bullied helpless small villages like Winnipeg and Quebec City.

Posted at Suspected tornado hits Ont. community
1:07 AM ET
Trailer parks cause tornados.

Posted at Suspected tornado hits Ont. community
8:04 PM ET
iyamcanadian wrote: "1st an earthquake, now a tornado...what pray tell is next..."

The HST.

Posted at Suspected tornado hits Ont. community
7:56 PM ET
Quick, run outside and get away from the buildings, its an earthquake.

Quick, run inside and get under the buildings, its a tornado.

Now that's what I call an exercise regime.

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:27 PM ET
Wow - those protestors are good!

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:26 PM ET
Hope those G20 fences are still standing....Dont want another billion going for repairs...

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:24 PM ET
It was the first time my bed moved in years LOL

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:24 PM ET
Is that what happens when you drop billions of dollars?

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
Paprika Pete
2:19 PM ET
Rule No. 1 when experiencing an earthquake: - Avoid standing at a urinal.

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:16 PM ET
OK, tornadoes AND earthquakes in Toronto, the day before the G20. Mother Nature is LAUGHING at that security fence.

Can the locusts be far behind???


Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
2:16 PM ET
Perhaps it will cause a tsunami in Toronto's Fake Lake!

Posted at Earthquake rocks Quebec, Ontario
A. Gorilla
2:15 PM ET
Has the tsunami alert at the G20 fake lake been cancelled?

Posted at New Monopoly board features Canadian cities
3:42 AM ET
People still care about Monopoly?

But in fairness we should congratulate Chatham-Kent. This is the single most exciting thing that has happened or will ever happen to people from that community. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Posted at New Monopoly board features Canadian cities
7:11 PM ET
Shesjuly wrote:Posted 2010/06/22
at 4:18 PM ETNo matter what the cities are, and no matter how many times in my life I have played it, my sister beats me everytime.

100's of hours of my life gone with Monopoly that I'll never get back ...
Thanks for your post....hillarious....but oh so true !.......but what's with the Calgary, Manitoba ?

Posted at Fish may be smarter than we think
4:35 PM ET
I, for one, am WAY smarter than a fish.

Like, 10% smarter, or twice as smart. Whichever is higher.

Posted at Fish may be smarter than we think
2:53 PM ET
Mum always said they were brain food.

Posted at Spider bites tourist below the belt
1:24 PM ET
Now if you could bottle half of the symptoms you would be a billionaire

Posted at Detroit pushes for 'black boxes' on cars
2:41 PM ET
Maybe police cars could also be black boxed, to see if the activation of their lights and sirens coincided with an emergency call or just a trip to timmy's.

Posted at MP Shory accused in giant mortgage fraud
10:49 PM ET
Thankfully it is only a complaint filed by a major bank and not some gossip from a private eye or this guy would be sanctioned.

Posted at MP Shory accused in giant mortgage fraud
9:16 PM ET
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.."

The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah,but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No,I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable.

Posted at Ontario begins health-care system overhaul
3:48 PM ET
Posted 2010/05/03
at 3:09 PM ET OK- I had to mention this.
I stayed overnight at Rouge Valley Hospital after surgery. When my lunch came the nurse ate my food and left me with left overs on my tray!

Are you sure? What nurse would voluntarily eat hospital food?

Posted at Ontario Newspaper Awards winners named
2:57 PM ET
What's a newspaper?

Posted at Guergis backed by riding association
7:26 PM ET
@Houseman: "Not to change the subject or anything, but when did Canadians become such bad spellers? Typos are one thing, but the incorrect use of the ' is really out-of-hand."

You know what I really hate? People who ask and answer there own question's.

Or they also dont' know how to spell and they mix up word's like access and excess or its, it's and its' or their always using runon sentence's two!

Theyr'e posts' are full of misteak's and reeding them drive's me nuts'!

Posted at Medical specialist waits are longer for women
Dalek Prime
11:02 AM ET
"Women wait longer to see specialist: report...
The top three reasons to see a specialist were

Gynecological conditions — 12 per cent."


Men, please let your wives see the OB/GYN first. :S

Posted at Promiscuous women cause earthquakes, Iran cleric says
12:31 AM ET
This guy must absolutely stop insulting my favorite people.

Posted at Electricity rates surge in Ontario
2:21 PM ET
Never mind the delivery charge. I'll go pick it up myself.

Posted at Blame yourself for misspelled tattoo: court
9:48 AM ET
I guess beaty is only skin!

Posted at Russian math genius may reject $1M award
2:42 PM ET
I'm the exact opposite of that guy...I'm terrible at math but want a million bucks.

Posted at PM, Fraser Institute ramp up stimulus spat
Shreddie's Dad
1:32 PM ET
Oh what a week. Liberals voting against family planning, conservatives slamming the Fraser Institute. Next thing you know, Jack Layton will be having lunch with bankers and Gilles Duceppe will be wearing maple leaf boxers.

Posted at Ignatieff: dissenters face 'internal discipline'
2:13 PM ET
Liberal internal discipline, stand on one foot, rub tummy, pat head.suspension of buffet benifits for one free lunch. Tie shoelaces together, wedgie in Iggies office.

Posted at White House press secretary wears Canada jersey
5:28 PM ET
Bassman1949 wrote:
I don't know how buying hockey sticks would solve the software lumber issue. I don't know of many sticks made of pine or spruce. I thought they used hard wood and composite materials for hockey sticks.
That's okay, I had no idea they used lumber to make software.

Posted at Computer program 'reads' minds
11:46 PM ET
Sorry, My wife has been able to do that for years. So what's the big deal.?

Posted at Federal contractor racks up hefty bills
7:40 PM ET
"A doorbell replacement came in at $1,000."

Wow! Where is this doorbell? I want to go there and push it. I've never used a $1000 door bell before. I'll add that to the list of the 1000 things I want to do before I die.

Posted at Pentagon trains workers to hack Defense computers
Everyone they are training is all ready too old. Get some geeks straight outta High school. Whenever I have trouble with my computer I give it to my little brother. He fixes it, then I feed and change him.

Posted at goes on auction block
12:25 PM ET
steven2010 wrote: if you feed it, it will get bigger.


I still don't have a clue what that meant but its still hilarious.

Posted at Palin ridiculed for Canadian health care use
Bad Karma
9:15 PM ET
Sarah Palin: Much Ado About Nothing. I heard that 1200 people paid to hear her speak in Calgary this past weekend. They could have saved a lot of money and listened to the air come out of their blow up dolls.

Posted at Canada outlasts U.S. for hockey gold
7:13 PM ET
PacificK wrote:
Posted 2010/02/28
at 7:12 PM ETUhhh, what? Was watchin the Nascar race in Vegas, what happened?
Well, stupid, to begin with, all the cars turned left. Too complicated for you to follow?

Posted at Small dogs' genes traced to Middle East
7:09 PM ET
Mark65 wrote:Posted 2010/02/24 at 2:21 PM ET So does this mean my dog is a terrorist?


No, but your dog might be a terrierist.

Posted at Teachers filmed lap-dancing at school event
6:53 PM ET
Well at least they weren't talking about evolution!

Posted at Tunick invites Lady Gaga to nude shoot
a spanner works
1:34 PM ET
Johnvan: A hundred years from now will anyone care about her?

I'd bet that in a hundred years, most of us will be dead.

I wish this guy better luck than I had. I invited a bunch of attractive young women to do a group naked photo shoot and all I got were a bunch of restraining orders and someone let all the air out of my bicycle tires and bent my handle bars.

Famous people's lives are different.

Posted at Man who approached Biden not a threat: police
Dr Trout
10:30 PM ET
I don't understand. Who is Biden? What team does he play for?

Posted at Woman convicted for exposing friend's semi-nude Facebook photos
Politically Incontrite
9:21 PM ET
Mothers; don't let your daughters grow up to be downloads!

Posted at Starving photographer rescued from B.C. wilderness
7:13 PM ET
He could have roasted his pictures and lived off "Baked photatoes"
or used a zoom lens to shoot a rabbit.
Next week, my survivor's recipe for Koduc a l'orange .....

Posted at Starving photographer rescued from B.C. wilderness
6:02 PM ET
Trade you a Big Mac for a Nikon.

Posted at Smelly passenger removed from plane
1:42 PM ET
I think this guy used to sit beside me when I rode the # 10 Hastings bus in Vancouver a few years ago...

Posted at Smelly passenger removed from plane
1:27 PM ET
Yes Tremulant, deplaned is a word. Deplane boss deplane.

Posted at Canada to close ports to Faroes, Greenland vessels
12:13 PM ET
How about sending our olympic protesters to Greenland as an act of good faith

Posted at Google Street View expands across Canada
1:22 PM ET
They should put the cameras on boats.

Google ocean view!

Posted at Boxing kangaroo banner still hanging
12:08 AM ET
Has anyone copyrighted the image of a fist with the middle finger extended?

Posted at Explorers' century-old whisky found in Antarctic
9:25 AM ET
MonctonFella wrote:Posted 2010/02/05
at 8:30 AM ET - The whisky couldn't have been all that great if they left it behind.

It was good enough for them to haul on their trek to the South Pole.

Posted at Reaction faster than action, study finds
4:54 AM ET
My initial reaction was that I knew this right before they said it.

Posted at Groundhogs predict 6 more weeks of winter
10:40 AM ET
Where the heck is PETA? These ground hogs were forced to see their shadows. Somebody fetch me a pie!

Posted at Groundhogs predict 6 more weeks of winter
7:54 AM ET
"No predictions on how long the Harper government will last?"

None of them will stick out their heads to find out.

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
10:40 AM ET
Great... I can just hear Rush Limbaugh or Bill O'Reilly in the next few days saying terrorists support clean energy therefore oil is better...

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
11:13 AM ET
For those who still believed the recent audio tapes were really from Bin Laden, I think it is becoming clear that these tapes are fake.

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
11:24 AM ET
Can we get his thoughts on Bank Reform?

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
10:50 AM ET
Sorry does anyone else find this hilarious?? :)

Like he's complaining about his cable bill or something...

Death to America! And can you please turn your lights off when you leave the room?!?! You're killing me here!

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
11:09 AM ET
I guess Bin Laden is looking for a softer crusade for is retirement years.

Posted at Bin Laden slams U.S over global warming
11:21 AM ET
Does this mean he and his buddies will stop riding in airplanes?

Posted at Few Quebec police trained to catch stoned drivers
5:12 PM ET
All they need to do is hire my mom. She always knew in about 10 seconds.

Posted at PM gets fighter jet escort from Switzerland
The Voice of Treason
4:01 PM ET
They just wanted to make sure he was leaving.

Posted at Seniors snared in Lethbridge prostitution crackdown
3:31 PM ET
They have to be careful or they may be charged with assault with a dead weapon.

Posted at Seniors snared in Lethbridge prostitution crackdown
2:47 PM ET
Down the hall, Shirley Houtekamer, who was making jewelry with a group of women, was less forgiving.

"They were silly buggers. Anybody that age is silly to go out on the street looking for a prostitute, let me tell you," she said.

Perhaps not forgiving, but she's not as condemning as you'd normally expect. I'd be waiting for her to add: "There are plenty plenty of perfectly fine women sitting right here in this old age home...."

Posted at Seniors snared in Lethbridge prostitution crackdown
Aves Fan
2:42 PM ET
"Four seniors, three in their 80s, have been arrested "

80's....Not sure if they should have been arrested or given awards or medals....
I'm sure the poilce have bigger problems than arresting these guys. Give them a break.

Posted at Seniors snared in Lethbridge prostitution crackdown
2:35 PM ET
This is going to be featured in the next Viagra commercial.

Posted at Libel landscape alters for bloggers, PR advisers
2:07 PM ET
WpgLisa wrote: "I read it for the entertainment. And to remind myself that there are many irrational people out there that are extremely easy to rile."

Yes, there are. They're called conservatives.

Posted at Libel landscape alters for bloggers, PR advisers
3:41 PM ET
WpgLisa wrote: "I read it for the entertainment. And to remind myself that there are many irrational people out there that are extremely easy to rile."

Yes, there are. They're called liberals.

Posted at Men kicked off plane for asking 'unusual' questions
Vain Zero
8:20 PM ET
Miss, miss. Yes thank you, I am most curious, to disable the fire suppression unit located to the rear right of the last toilet vestibule, would one cut the blue wire or the red wire leading to its pump motor? I am only concerned for all our safety on this long flight over America. ;)

Posted at Video shows cause of Newark airport chaos
3:48 PM ET
And as the couple were driving home from the airport the man turns on the radio only to hear that the Newark airport terminal they just came from has been shut down.

"Wow, I'm sure glad we left there before that happened!"

Posted at First Jesus-era house discovered in Nazareth
12:06 PM ET
misfit wrote: "but the existance of james (joseph's son, who was concieved normally) is so well known it they had documented evidence on teh T.V."

Umm . . . there is "documented evidence on teh T.V." for alien abductions too . . . . but unfortunately no CREDIBLE, verifable evidence for either.

Posted at Don't shy away from sex toy bill: MP to Aglukkaq
1:54 PM ET
dougjk57 wrote:Posted 2009/12/18
at 1:41 PM ET

What's wrong with men? Women have been using them for millenniums! The best part is they are 100% organic and might even buy you a nice dinner!


Batteries don't last.

Posted at High winds send Cape Breton cash flying
12:40 PM ET
"The local health authority's chairman lost his grip on his briefcase in a windstorm en route to the bank on Friday, and $50 and $100 bills went flying in the air."

Still, compared to eHealth in Ontario, Nova Scotia's system does appear to have maintained a reasonably tight hold on its dollars.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
Old Muskrat
11:21 AM ET
That SUV had every right to be inside that airport-- it was a Pilot, after all!

Agree = funny. C'mon, someone had to point it out.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
11:52 AM ET
This driver is lucky he did not get tasered to death.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
10:42 AM ET
You mean the SUV was able to penetrate the invisible force-field set up by VANOC around YVR?

UH OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
get'ir done
11:49 AM ET
Well I hope his resume is up to date!

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
10:19 AM ET
Was anyone chasing the SUV and waving a golf club?

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
stewie's mom
10:12 AM ET
will the party meeting the SUV meet at gate 14..

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
12:44 PM ET
I had no idea the valet company hired Mr. Bean to park their vehicles. 10 bucks says this guy ends up working for First Student here in Alberta.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
static cling
10:58 AM ET
I bumped into my garbage cans this morning when pulling out of my driveway but they were unharmed. The blue box didn't make it though. I'll be posting pics on my blog later if CBC is interested.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
Bra sumbar
12:23 PM ET
Appears to be an accident? At which point do you put on the brakes !? when you hit the glass, while going through the doors , as you're moving across the check in area, when you finally hit the kiosk? Accident, I'd say, only until you hit the door, beyond that" inept" comes to mind.

Posted at SUV crashes into Vancouver airport
Pundit Guy
12:18 PM ET
I'd like to see the 'Reason for Termination of Employment' box on the valet's ROE -- "tried to check SUV as carry-on luggage".

So, to recap... on the right hand side is the gas. Directly to the left of the gas is the brake. Use this to stop the vehicle as necessary.

Posted at Coin toss not random: UBC researchers
8:31 PM ET
Arbitrary statistics can prove anything - 83% of all people know this.

Posted at Feeding birds can affect evolution: study
9:52 AM ET
SurreySocialist wrote:Posted 2009/12/04
at 9:33 AM ET

( Contradictions in Genesis )


All that proves is God is a woman and she kept changing her mind.

Posted at Feeding birds can affect evolution: study
11:42 PM ET
foamingredneck wrote:Posted 2009/12/03
at 10:23 PM ET

arthurpaliden, I think you are wrong. just wrong. sorry about that little fella.
this article was about birds, wasn't it? what put the bug up your nose about creationists?


They always give the same answer to every discussion, "because that is what God wanted". It gets really tying and monotonous while the rest of us discus how it works based on observation of available data coupled with know Facts form other areas of study.

In addition they fail to realize that 1) Evolution does not preclude the existence of God, 2) Evolution does not consider the initiation of life only what cames after, 3) The Theory of Evolution is based not just on the fossil record but by a host of other Facts from many other sciences.

In short, they “fail to use the brains God gave them” which must be an awful disapointment to her.

Posted at GDP growth signals recession's end
9:19 AM ET
Fantastic! Can I have my old job back now?

Posted at Christmas tree rental firms battle waste
2:09 PM ET
Decorate a Christmas fiscus instead!

(Try saying that after getting trollied at Christmas dinner).

Posted at Christmas tree rental firms battle waste
MB in the Middle
8:36 PM ET
Rent a tree. Too funny. Must be lots of spare money in Vancouver. You guys should host an Olympics some time.

Posted at Christmas tree rental firms battle waste
5:03 PM ET
Christmas should really be called, "feel real guilty if you don't spend yourself into the poor house-mas" It is nothing more than a marketing consumer SCAM. No tree for me, no sir-ree. Couldn't care a bit if I don't get a gift. Every year I canot wait for Christmas to be over. I'm sick of hearing the same old tired tunes on the radio ad-naseum and watching the same 50 year old tv shows on tv, every single year. Speaking of movies, Christmas is like being caught in the movie "Groundhog Day" Over and over and over and over it goes. Somebody kick me in the nads so I know I'm not just binary code circling and endless looping circuit.

Posted at Tiger Woods out of hospital after crash
4:41 PM ET
Wow... I guess this news outlet cannot mention Mr. Woods without attaching his net worth.. haha.

Imagine if Joe Blow were to get into a minor car accident.

The news report would read a little something like this:

A man from FarFarAway was in a minor vehicle accident on Friday.

Police identified the man as Joe Blow. Blow was sent to the local hospital, and treated for a broken pinky-finger.

Blow's house is worth $24,000. Last year, Blow took a mortgage on his house to finance his ten year old car.

Just last year, Blow made $28,000.

Posted at Tiger Woods out of hospital after crash
3:02 PM ET
Sounds like this guy needs a driver.

Posted at 1,500 attend meeting on power lines
1:31 PM ET
"1,500 attend meeting on power lines"

HAHAHA I got a mental image of all those people up on the power lines like the crows and starlings on the lines in my backyard!


Posted at Toronto police use Taser on wayward deer
2:02 PM ET
To answer some questions:

Q: Are people in Toronto that ignorant to wildlife. A: Yes. I used to live there and never saw I'm in AB where deer poop on my front lawn.

Q: How did the deer get there. A: I'm gonna go with walking.

Posted at Toronto police use Taser on wayward deer
12:08 PM ET
JanetL wrote at 9:38 AM ET "Next we should have a few black bears climbing the Bay Street streetlights, rummaging throught the trash and chasing the MPPs across the lawns at Queens Park - maybe then McGuinty will come up with a humane black bear management plan"

Judging by the manner in which individual investors were mauled last year, I'd think that the bears were already let loose in the market on corporate Bay Street.

It is odd, though, that no one has identified the deer by name. Do the authorities have this information, or does she just remain a Jane Doe?

Posted at Toronto police use Taser on wayward deer
3:55 PM ET
Can we try it on the politicians next?

Posted at Toronto police use Taser on wayward deer
Hill Billy
4:05 PM ET
Was the deer armed with a stapler?

Posted at Toronto police use Taser on wayward deer
Dalek Prime
3:29 PM ET
Jakevance wrote:
Posted 2009/11/24
at 3:09 PM ET Whenever you see a moose or a deer near a highway you should be allowed to tazer them. They would learn to avoid highways pretty quick and there would be fewer accidents.

Or we could just tase the drivers until they pay attention to their driving.

Posted at YouTube arrest video could incriminate suspects
10:12 PM ET

"One of them was also charged with the bylaw offences of smoking on the platform and having his feet up on the seat."

That's one bad dude. All the other prisoners will keep their distance when they find out those charges.

Posted at N.S. premier surprised at sole-credit infrastructure signs
5:19 AM ET
Why do we even need signs on the roadside saying the Federal or Provincial government is building a road. Who else would it be? Aliens?

Posted at Man disguised as mummy robs Saskatoon business
3:58 PM ET
the story says it was a bad disguise---if it was so bad, why are they looking for anyone with information----I'm glad no one was hurt

Posted at Man disguised as mummy robs Saskatoon business
H. Finnegan
5:08 PM ET
Police are seraching for a white male, average height, average build, 3500 to 4000 years old.

Posted at Man disguised as mummy robs Saskatoon business
Oh Sure
1:12 PM ET
"A duty officer . . . said that it's likely the man was not injured and that the bandages were simply a "bad disguise.""! Gee, since no one can identify the guy I'd say it was a "good disguise"! Wouldn't you think that that should be the measure of a good disguise versus a bad one? We're really in trouble if cops can't distinguish between a good one and a bad one!

Posted at Man disguised as mummy robs Saskatoon business
2:57 PM ET
A mummy eh? Was he wearing a poppy ?

Did he need cash for a rhinoplasty ?

Perhaps he's part of a pyramid scheme ?

Once they catch him they better keep him under wraps.

Posted at SUV crushed by steel coil on Windsor expressway
Hugh Betcha
12:05 PM ET
" Ontario's Ministry of Transportation has launched an
investigation to determine whether the coil was fastened
properly to the truck. "


I'll save you some time & money. It WASN'T !

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
the New West wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 10:59 AM ET "I'm not sure if it was a prank or he legitimately left the pig inside and forgot about it,"

How do you "forget" a pig in a restaurant? Too funny!

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
Calamity Jane wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:13 AM ET I think this is a deliberate cover-up on the part of Tim's.

I believe it was the pig that originally brought the student in to buy some doughnuts but was whisked into the washroom, mugged and left penniless.

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
Scott54 wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:07 AM ET Perhaps it was a plot - a disGRUNTled ex-employee trying to spread swine flu ... ;-)

(Anyone else ever wondered why you can be disgruntled but not gruntled ....)

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
Cristian from MTL wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:34 AM ET JML166 wrote- "Whoever wrote this story needs to go back to Guelph, enroll in a different degree, and find a career where they can produce something interesting."

- It was a "light" article about some goof leaving a pig inside a Tim Hortons. It's funny and ridiculous. Not all news has to be doom, gloom and suicide bombers.

Get over yourself buddy!

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
Gulian wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:45 AM ET Let's see... I forgot my drink when I went to the kitchen. I forgot my laptop when I went to work. I couldn't find my sunglasses which I was apparently wearing. Yep, I could easily forget a pig that I brought to the washroom with me.

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
gbt111 wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 12:19 PM ET Review of security camera footage showed Winnie the Pooh exiting the store with a large coffee and a dozen honey-dip donuts...

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
Rickster wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:23 AM ET Timmy's employee: "No, there really is a pig in the washroom, I SWEAR!

Timmy's manager: "What do you mean? He didn't wash his hands?, left a mess?, what?!

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
MarkHammer wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:38 AM ET Maybe the pig was being used to search for the mythical "truffle Timbits".

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
PONDERTHIS wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 11:40 AM ET LOL you guys are too friggin funny....a double double and bacon donuts LOL I actually scared my co-worker here with how loud I just laughed at this.

Posted at This little piggy went to Tim Hortons
cb1613 wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 2:02 PM ET "he left the restaurant to get feed for the animal..."

Garçon! This food isn't fit for a pig!

« Very well then, monsieur, I shall bring you some that is »

Posted at Canada sheds 43,200 jobs in October
Scott54 wrote:Posted 2009-11-06 at 10:05 AM ET Neil Gregory :Just how fare is 8.4 % unemployment from 10% unemployment? A great whopping 1.4% It looks like seeingblue is just another mathematically challenged right-wing extremist.

I agree with the premise of your statement, Neil, but perhaps you'd better add 8.4 and 1.4 again ...:-)

Posted at "Testosterone drives men to buy fast cars
The researchers found that in the sedan, the men's hormone levels remained low, but in the sports car, testosterone levels stayed high"
SensibleSam wrote:Posted 2009/10/14 at 9:50 PM ET Yes I own a mini van, Each row of seating is filled with living proof of my testosterone. Should I win a Ferrari , it will be used to race of to the clinic, before my wife says one more!

Posted at Virus suspected in chronic fatigue syndrome
Mr Lahey wrote:Posted 2009/10/09 at 3:23 PM ET so this is whats wrong with the Leafs

Posted at Military chopper lands for burgers
ABMTNS wrote:Posted 2009/10/02 at 12:14 PM ET Looks funny... but seriously as long as he was cleared to land, who really cares? If he wasn't he'll be in sh*t...

we all get a meal break so don't read too far into this


In other news 3 marked police cruisers were spotted at Tim Hortons...

Posted at U.K. treasure hunter finds massive Anglo-Saxon hoard
Paper view wrote:Posted 2009/09/24 at 11:25 AM ET Cool, We should get this guy over here and turn him loose on our Royal Canadian Mint. Maybe he will find the millions in Gold they can't seem to find!

Posted at Conservative lead widens in poll
Michael W wrote:Posted 2009/09/17 at 12:11 PM ET "Proves the old adage I guess; You can fool some of the people some of the time."
The way I have always heard the adage is, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." But maybe this is a newer adage...

Posted at Quebec town bans power tools on Sundays
bylaw allows the use of lawnmowers
G.Lavoie wrote:Posted 2009/08/25 at 1:07 PM ET Hmm, I can see a market for a lawn mower that accomodates many "attachments"...

Posted at Zombie attack would be the death of us: study
camtra1 wrote:Posted 2009/08/18 at 7:09 PM ET "Hey! Way to apply math, idiots! How about a unicorn attack? Could we handle that?"


What a ridiculous thing to say. Everyone knows unicorns are imaginary.

Posted at Top military brass on board near-miss jet
No policy preventing politicians, CF commanders from flying together: DND
Beowulf_cam wrote:Posted 2009/08/07 at 11:15 PM ET MetaKaizen wrote: "Fortunately, the military brass were all wearing their brown trousers at the time."

There is a story... back in the 19th century a French officer asked a British officer why they wore red tunics. As the Frenchman pointed out, the red would make them more visible. The British officer replied that, if the officer was wounded, the red would hide the blood and the men would not panic.

That is why French officers wear brown trousers to this very day.

Posted at Harper to visit Obama in D.C. next month
Hugh Betcha wrote:Posted 2009/08/07 at 3:51 PM ET What a thrill this will be for Obama.

Posted at Twitter blames attack for outage
Facebook also hit
MB in the Middle wrote:Posted 2009/08/06 at 8:17 PM ET If the problem was "a flood of useless traffic", I wonder how they were able to distinguish from the normal stuff?

Posted at Twitter blames attack for outage
Facebook also hit
Burgers wrote:Posted 2009/08/06 at 11:35 AM ET There were no tweets on the internet for more than two hours Thursday morning

Man, did this ever brighten my day!

In a world where there is often just too much bad news, thanks CBC for this rare feel-good story.


Posted at Twitter blames attack for outage
Facebook also hit
Un Ciel Bleu wrote:Posted 2009/08/06 at 1:45 PM ET Breaking news! Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube have merged and is now known under:

I apologize; I needed to add to these amusing comments.

Posted at Twitter blames attack for outage
Facebook also hit
Aardvarken wrote:Posted 2009/08/06 at 11:05 AM ET Gosh, slow news day. In other news, I was unable to access the internet the other day because the power supply in my computer burnt out. I welcome CBC to contact me for more details on this ground breaking story.

Posted at 74% of Canadians unaware of Twitter: online survey
Tremulant wrote:Posted 2009/06/11 at 2:55 PM ET 74% of Canadians go on living their lives without Twitter!?

That's just nuts.

Besides, who can really express themselves in 140 charac

Posted at New element to be added to periodic table
jackace52 wrote:Posted 2009/06/11 at 1:28 PM ET The heaviest element yet known to science is Governmentium (symbol=Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected by its retarded (even completely absent under some conditions) ability to react. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with large injections of fiscal elements, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Posted at New element to be added to periodic table
rawhide wrote:Posted 2009/06/11 at 1:24 PM ET "it can only exist for fractions of a second"
This is not news. My money has been made of this for years, I just didn't know what to call it.

Posted at U.S. study says computer injuries at home are on the increase
Children under five most at risk from computer equipment hazards: report
Ex_Environmentalist wrote:Posted 2009/06/10 at 2:27 AM ET The typical 'computer injury' patient is a male, between the age of 14 & 70, admitted between the hours of 7pm and 1 am, with a right-hand wrist injury.

Posted at U.S. study says computer injuries at home are on the increase
Children under five most at risk from computer equipment hazards: report
Opinyun8ed wrote:Posted 2009/06/09 at 4:58 PM ET It is far more likely that children under five will cause injuries to computers. Perhaps we should be protecting the computers by sending small children outside to play.

Posted at U.S. study says computer injuries at home are on the increase
Children under five most at risk from computer equipment hazards: report
QuebecAnglo wrote:Posted 2009/06/09 at 9:16 PM ET rawhide said: "" Accidents will happen, even to women in bed. ""

Yeah, my neighbor's husband is a bad lover too...

Posted at Competition Bureau cracks down on fraudulent telemarketing businesses
Aramis wrote:Posted 2009/06/03 at 11:40 AM ET How about turning the Revenue Canada dogs on these criminals instead of harassing honest Canadians like Irvin Leroux? If the Canada Revenue Agency could destroy the lives of crooked telemarketers with equal efficiency, the problem would be solved.

Posted at Minister grilled, aide resigns after secret documents left at news bureau
Aida Firren'ame wrote:Posted 2009/06/03 at 8:08 PM ET "Shifty is NOT a Liberal. He disagrees with everything. He is a small "c" conservative. So pretty much he has nobody in this country to vote for. It's a sad state of affairs. I'm pretty close to having the same train of thought."

i am too, and i'm a small l liberal.

what kind of screwed up country has five major political parties, none of which appeal at all to conservatives or liberals?

Posted at GM prepares for bankruptcy, government to own major share
Harritage wrote:Posted 2009/05/31 at 11:41 PM ET I asked my rep at the GM dealership if they go bankrupt - will my 2008 Pontiac work on Monday and he assured me it will.

That's good news because it hasn't worked in two months since the transmission died.

Posted at Twitter 'porn star name game' risks identity theft: privacy experts
tapilot wrote:Posted 2009/05/14 at 6:05 PM ET MitchSprague wrote: "Wow, someone outsmarted Sarah Palin and Paris Hilton. I never thought I'd ever read that in the news."

It'd be real news if someone outstupided either one.

Posted at Harper makes surprise visit to Afghanistan
PunkahJr wrote:Posted 2009/05/07 at 9:50 PM ET winston_ wrote:Posted 2009/05/07 at 9:13 PM ET
I appreciate how easy it is to get on this site and criticize politicians or anyone else for that matter, but I would like to ask - anyone who may be interested - what are you doing to make this country, and the world a better place


Coming on this site to criticize politicians or anyone else.

Posted at Head of listeriosis probe hasn't interviewed Ritz
sinicalboy wrote:Posted 2009/04/23 at 9:05 AM ET skye60 wrote around 8:30am "I was amazed when I went to Norway that eggs were stamped with not only the day they were layed but also the TIME of day they were layed."

Man, those are some smart chickens.

Posted at Crime severity dropped over 10-year period: StatsCan
dadio13 wrote:Posted 2009/04/21 at 12:22 PM ET "In terms of overall crime, Saskatchewan had the highest rate."

I am suprised by this.
Should be easy to catch them out there though, what with the ability to see them fleeing for an hour or so.

Posted at Recession a 'relatively mild' challenge for Canada: Flaherty
carlbailey wrote:Posted 2009/04/03 at 1:02 PM ET geez, if this guy was pinocchio, he'd have skewered the first four rows of the audience.

Posted at Take 2: G20 group photo snapped again after Harper's absence
Officials refute reports that PM was in bathroom at the time
Scott54 wrote:Posted 2009/04/02 at 11:01 AM ET John from BC : If it's the G-20 why are there 29 people in the photograph? Just asking.

Perhaps Flaherty did the math ..;-)

Posted at New Afghan law forcing sex draws outrage from Canada
rawhide wrote:Posted 2009/03/31 at 9:01 PM ET [On Canada's involvement in Afghanistan]

The situation is sort of like having a bear by the tail. The main problem starts when you want to let go.

Posted at As Conficker activation looms, scammers seek to profit off fear
Auntie NeoCon wrote:Posted 2009/03/31 at 4:33 PM ET TimsRant wrote:Posted 2009/03/31 at 4:00 PM ET Headline: scammers seek to profit off fear

Reminds me of David Suzuki for some reason.

Funny ... I immediately thought of Bush, Harper and everyone trying to sell us on the notion that a terrorist threat is always imminent - so we should all turn xenophobic and live stroking our guns.

Suzuki? He just makes me want to eat granola and turn my lights off more often.

Posted at Harper to Liberals: 'Get out of the way and let that money flow'
Fan wu ren wrote:Posted 2009/03/08 at 5:43 PM ET

"If the west, or Quebec or NF or any other portion of our country seperates, Canada as we know it will cease to exist, ergo, destruction."
Western Separatist wrote: If you want to use that word [Destroy], fine. It has a negative connotation that is misleading and, I think, deceptive. I just renovated my home - I didn't "destroy" it.
Putting a new highway in is analgous to renovating the kitchen.

Go grab a chain saw and carve the living room off of your house. Haul your living room to the dump. I guess you could still live in it after you put plastic over the hole. It would cost you a lot more for heat. You may have security concerns. Your parties would be wierd.

Strange renovations.

I'll choose to keep my home CANADA intact thank you.

Posted at Canada's foreign affairs minister in Middle East
alchemy wrote:Posted 2009/02/28 at 3:42 PM ET

DenisGale wrote:

"Would someone please tell me what a neocon is..."

A neocon is someone who thinks the free-market is the answer for everything.

It is in a way... for, example:

What is the cause of the global economic collapse? The free market.


Posted at Tentative settlement reached in N.Y. music piracy lawsuit
BGibbs wrote:Posted 2009/02/27 at 11:25 PM ET "In 2007, the industry dropped the lawsuit against Santangelo but sued two of her children, Michelle, then 20, and Robert, 16, saying they had downloaded and distributed more than 1,000 songs, including Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) by The Offspring, MMMBop by Hanson and Beat It by Michael Jackson."

How embarrassing. I would rather catch my kids downloading porn.

Posted at Russia denies plane approached Canadian airspace
Leafminer wrote:Posted 2009/02/27 at 11:44 AM ET It's a good thing our two F-16's weren't up on the rack and they didn't have to send up the Silver Dart Replica to warn off the Russians!

The Russian pilot would have died of laughter without us firing a shot.

"Vladamir! Vhat ess that?"
"It loooooks lyke Fred Flinstonick!"

Posted at Green comet comes closest to Earth overnight
Harritage wrote:Posted 2009/02/23 at 10:28 PM ET
3000 L /sec (assume 3 months) = 3x30x24x60x60 = 23 billion litres of spray.

NASA better hope the space-shuttle windshield-wipers are working, otherwise they'll need to duct-tape an ice-scraper onto the Canadarm .

Then it'll be the Red-Green Comet

chjugq wrote:Posted 2009/02/23 at 7:56 PM ET "The comet is a ball of ice and other frozen compounds that partially vapourize into a tail of gas and dust as the comet approaches the sun."...
is what government scientists would like you to believe.

The truth is that the comet is a failed military project from the cold war. I should know because I helped design the rocket that propelled this green radioactive mass into outerspace. I was working for NASA when president Eisenhower asked Dr. Campell, our commanding rocket scientist, to build a system that could redestroy the Russians 200 years after an all out nuclear war. The system was ingenious and fail safe, except that the guy who was supposed to have pushed the button to put the system in standby mode rather than active mode forgot to do so (!). What this means that in about 150 years this radioactive mass will rain down on Russia and poison all its inhabitants.

60 minutes tried to do a story about it, but government regulators thought it was too sensitive to talk about.

Don't worry, though. The current generation of NASA scientists are aware of this looming disaster and have come up with a rescue plan to change earth's orbit ever so slightly so that over 150 years the mass will miss earth's upper atmosphere by 5 km. They are doing so by simply moving one large mountain in Colorado to the east cost, one truck at a time, and by filling in the massive abandoned copper mines in Nebraska with salt.


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